a very wal-mart christmas
What’s a man to do when it is the day before Christmas Eve and he comes to the realization that, although all the presents are bought and safely in the closet, they need to be wrapped and there are no boxes in stock anywhere in the Clinch household in which to put them prior to wrapping?
The proper question would probably be better posed by saying that we came to this realization last night.
You’re probably thinking, “Goddamn it, Clinch! You dumb fuck! How could a responsible person in a civilized society allow this to happen?”
My response is, get off my ass. The solution was a trip to Wally World at about 6:30 this morning and I have achieved the solution to avoid the Christmas rush. Actually, I achieved the first half of the solution a couple of weeks ago by shopping on line. In this case, however, it appears our Wal-Mart is open 24 hours and there were only a handful of people there. It was like being on the floor of a Vegas casino at 6:00 in the morning—a sure way to beat the crowds. I got my last items for Christmas taken care of; so now shopping is out of the way.
Now it is time to spend the day wrapping.
To those of you who read earlier about my dislike of hip-hop, you are probably wondering why the change in heart. To which I respond, not rapping—wrapping.
And you can bet your ass I am wishing you happy holidays.
Or my name isn’t Dick Clinch.
The proper question would probably be better posed by saying that we came to this realization last night.
You’re probably thinking, “Goddamn it, Clinch! You dumb fuck! How could a responsible person in a civilized society allow this to happen?”
My response is, get off my ass. The solution was a trip to Wally World at about 6:30 this morning and I have achieved the solution to avoid the Christmas rush. Actually, I achieved the first half of the solution a couple of weeks ago by shopping on line. In this case, however, it appears our Wal-Mart is open 24 hours and there were only a handful of people there. It was like being on the floor of a Vegas casino at 6:00 in the morning—a sure way to beat the crowds. I got my last items for Christmas taken care of; so now shopping is out of the way.
Now it is time to spend the day wrapping.
To those of you who read earlier about my dislike of hip-hop, you are probably wondering why the change in heart. To which I respond, not rapping—wrapping.
And you can bet your ass I am wishing you happy holidays.
Or my name isn’t Dick Clinch.
posted by dick clinch at 5:30 AM
3 Comments:
Nice text. :-) If you were in Brazil, you wouldn't have problems with wrapping papers and boxes. Because my grandma keep all the gift papers and boxes, to wrap presents for the others. She is a professional wrapper.
Sorry for my bad english.
Santa is wishing you a happy new year.
Hy..
That angel looks like me too...
Dual... Fighting forever eeheheh :P
The good girl and the bad girl!
Have a nice New Year!!
Kisses
If only wrapping is as easy as chucking the present in a brown paper bag and tying a bow or ribbon of some sort around it.
The most important question though, is what do you do with presents you have absolutely no use for?
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