global warming is our friend
A little girl blows the white seed head of a mature dandelion and the fluff is dispersed in the breeze. We’ve all done it, but when a cute little girl does it, we all feel sort of warm and fuzzy. We’ll all be seeing it on television soon, and when we do, we’ll feel good about ourselves and we’ll listen to the message coming from our television and believe. Yes, we’ll believe when they tell us that carbon dioxide is good. And, they are right. It is. Life couldn’t exist without it.
When you see and hear this commercial, keep in mind that carbon dioxide is very good, when taken in moderation. Whisky is good, too—in moderation. Many things are good, but when we overindulge, or we have too much, they can cause us problems. Water is good, but if you are under enough water too long, it can be harmful. A mild summer breeze is good, but when it blows your house away, it can be considered a negative. A warm ocean in summer is a thing of beauty, but if it gets too warm, it can fuel storms that will wipe you out.
It is an odd coincidence that on the day when the official death toll from Katrina was increased to 1577, some splinter group that is interested in convincing us what a good friend carbon dioxide and global warming are announced their advertising campaign to change our minds about global warming.
Many of you are probably wondering where old Dick Clinch has been and I’m sure many of you are thinking I’ve come back as a kinder, gentler Dick.
Well, you can throw that bullshit out the window, because here I come and it's just the same old me.
First of all, you can bet that anyone who would use the image of an innocent little girl blowing a dandelion probably has some aspirations of having you blow them, or fuck you in the ass. But, don’t worry. I’m here to protect your oral and anal cavities from unwanted violation.
Whenever you see advertisements that are trying to persuade you that global warming is a good thing you can assume they are not necessarily acting in your best interests.
What’s next? Some advertising campaign to convince us that international terrorism is a good thing? Perhaps a little girl blows the fuzz off a dandelion with the burning World Trade Center towers in the background.
“Some people think that fire from above is a bad thing, but it is what Allah wants,” a voice intones. “Plus that, think of all the snotty, high income people in those buildings that won’t be competing for your job.”
How about a campaign to promote child prostitution? Assume, for the sake of argument, the same little girl and the same dandelion.
“Think of all the poor little girls and boys who wouldn’t have companionship, or know where their next meal is coming from, without this commerce,” the voice would say.
Or kiddie porn.
“Sodomy is the magic word that bridges the generation gap and brings adults and children together,” says the faceless voice.
Or, maybe cigarettes.
“Take a puff. It’s springtime.”
Oh, wait. That one has been done already.
Let’s face it, there will always be those who will sell their soul for a few pieces of silver and try to convince the rest of us that black is white; that good is bad and global warming is all sweetness and light.
Perhaps, if there is justice, those who prosper by this mindfuck will use their earnings to finance that dream vacation to Cozumel, when the big blow makes an unexpected southerly turn, and they get to be up close and personal with global warming.
Or my name isn’t Dick Clinch.
When you see and hear this commercial, keep in mind that carbon dioxide is very good, when taken in moderation. Whisky is good, too—in moderation. Many things are good, but when we overindulge, or we have too much, they can cause us problems. Water is good, but if you are under enough water too long, it can be harmful. A mild summer breeze is good, but when it blows your house away, it can be considered a negative. A warm ocean in summer is a thing of beauty, but if it gets too warm, it can fuel storms that will wipe you out.
It is an odd coincidence that on the day when the official death toll from Katrina was increased to 1577, some splinter group that is interested in convincing us what a good friend carbon dioxide and global warming are announced their advertising campaign to change our minds about global warming.
Many of you are probably wondering where old Dick Clinch has been and I’m sure many of you are thinking I’ve come back as a kinder, gentler Dick.
Well, you can throw that bullshit out the window, because here I come and it's just the same old me.
First of all, you can bet that anyone who would use the image of an innocent little girl blowing a dandelion probably has some aspirations of having you blow them, or fuck you in the ass. But, don’t worry. I’m here to protect your oral and anal cavities from unwanted violation.
Whenever you see advertisements that are trying to persuade you that global warming is a good thing you can assume they are not necessarily acting in your best interests.
What’s next? Some advertising campaign to convince us that international terrorism is a good thing? Perhaps a little girl blows the fuzz off a dandelion with the burning World Trade Center towers in the background.
“Some people think that fire from above is a bad thing, but it is what Allah wants,” a voice intones. “Plus that, think of all the snotty, high income people in those buildings that won’t be competing for your job.”
How about a campaign to promote child prostitution? Assume, for the sake of argument, the same little girl and the same dandelion.
“Think of all the poor little girls and boys who wouldn’t have companionship, or know where their next meal is coming from, without this commerce,” the voice would say.
Or kiddie porn.
“Sodomy is the magic word that bridges the generation gap and brings adults and children together,” says the faceless voice.
Or, maybe cigarettes.
“Take a puff. It’s springtime.”
Oh, wait. That one has been done already.
Let’s face it, there will always be those who will sell their soul for a few pieces of silver and try to convince the rest of us that black is white; that good is bad and global warming is all sweetness and light.
Perhaps, if there is justice, those who prosper by this mindfuck will use their earnings to finance that dream vacation to Cozumel, when the big blow makes an unexpected southerly turn, and they get to be up close and personal with global warming.
Or my name isn’t Dick Clinch.
posted by dick clinch at 6:53 PM
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