a telephone message from the other side of reality

I need to veer slightly off the path of my job search today to explain something that happened this morning. Despite being on the do not call list, we received an automated caller asking whether we had received on latest telephone directory. My second favorite thing is receiving a phone call from some automated whore, and not being able to explain to the whore why she is a whore. My favorite thing, of course, is pouring lighter fluid on my genitals and setting them afire.

Anyway, the bitch gave me three choices:

whether I had received my new phone directory
whether I had not received my new phone directory
whether I had somehow not received the valuable coupons in the package with the directory

I listened to the message several times, because I needed a fourth choice, which was unavailable. That fourth choice was, of course, “please dial four if you wish to refer to me as a cunt and that you are outraged that you received this call despite being on the do not call list.”

I couldn’t press the correct button this morning and so I thought tonight I would express my opinion about the automated cunt that called. Sometimes it’s just good to get these things off one’s chest lest one be tempted to suggest some medieval torture remedy for the person who came up with the idea for these automated calls, and the person who authorized their use.

Or my name isn’t Dick Clinch.